i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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