I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
