I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
