i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
