i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
