Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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