whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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