Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
