Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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