You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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