she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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