Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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