3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
