What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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