My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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