Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
