I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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