so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
