She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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