Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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