she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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