Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
