Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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