My liver just broke up with me...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
