why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just want to make out with him forever
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
