So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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