He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
