so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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