Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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