I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
