I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
