another moral hangover. fuck.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
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Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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