Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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