yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
