wanna go halves on a baby?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
