There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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