I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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