I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize