Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
