So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
