You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
