If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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