Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
