On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
