You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
