Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
