i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
