I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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