grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
FUCK WHALES
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
