Having a random hookup so left but love u
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
