I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize