When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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