Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
this hospital has no fireball
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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