okay pat passed out under dana's car
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
