she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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