oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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