College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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