ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
