I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
