That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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