i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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