No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
