Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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