I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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