At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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