My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
