U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
