i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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