apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My pussy is not your playground.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he was CRYING into my vagina
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
