Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
