you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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